The Art Of Being Alone

I didn’t always like my own company growing up. I found myself rather boring to be honest and yet, the more I hated being alone, the lonelier I was. I wasn’t a friendly child. I kept to myself and my books, did my work, went home, went back to school; it was an endlessly mundane cycle. My mother was overprotective so though I had school and church “friends”, I didn’t get the playdates and fun time that is so crucial to form lasting relationships.

Then I got older, and the older I got, the more friends I made, the more I realized how much I preferred being alone! LOL.

I’d like to think that there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.

Growing up, I was lonely but never quite alone.

Now? I’ve come to be alone but never lonely. I have my good friends that I love to be with  but most times you’ll find me in my room. It didn’t occur to me that others found it difficult to be left to themselves until someone close to me confessed to it. So I figured why not tell you what worked for me 🙂

How to Be Alone:

  1. Say No: When your friends ask you to go somewhere that you’re not totally sold on, the word “no” comes in pretty handy. You can totally say no and have a nice night in doing whatever you do that makes you happy.
  2. Date Yourself: Feeling the Singles Blues? Try not to let that feeling push you into a situation you know you have no business being in. You don’t ACTUALLY need him/her to take you to dinner. Take yourself. Take care of yourself.
  3. Meditate: I’m at a point in my life where meditation has become a necessity. Sometimes being left to my own thoughts is downright anxiety inducing. I can’t get a good night’s rest with my mind going a mile a minute. Meditation has honestly helped me quiet those pesky thoughts about what needs to be done, who needs to be spoken to, and what not.

Remember, it’s okay to be alone sometimes. No one is gonna understand you like you do. Spend some time with yourself, get to know yourself, love  yourself. You totally deserve it.

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The Pursuit of Happiness

 

Clearly I’m terrible at this blogging thing because it’s probably been over two months since my last post but I promise I have a good excuse.

This semester was, for lack of a better word, trash.

I was in the hospital twice due to chronic migraines, I lost a lot of weight, my grades were slipping, I was always unhappy, and honestly the whole life thing was just getting to be too much for me. I reached a point where I honestly considered dropping out (of school).

It wasn’t until maybe a few days ago that I decided that this couldn’t happen again. I couldn’t do another year at school feeling the way i felt. It was unhealthy and I felt on the verge of a breakdown every time I woke up to go to class.

So I decided that from now on, I had to actively take care of myself. I’ve always been preoccupied with how my parents and people back home saw me. The pressure to succeed exceedingly has  been a burden I’ve carried all my life and I feel like it’s something others struggle with as well.

It is however up to you to decide whose happiness is more important to you, yours or theirs.

Do what you have to do to make sure you come out of school with a sound mind and joy in your heart. You have to live with your decisions.

For me, I know I have to go back to the things that made me happy. Anyone who knows me knows I’m more artsy than scientific and yet I let go of my creative side to focus on my school work because I thought I couldn’t have both.

I can’t really give any advice on the subject. It’s a journey I’ve just started; the journey of self discovery. The Pursuit of Happiness.

I’ve decided to use my upcoming summer break to tap back into the creative powers that I snuffed out so long ago. It’s a start and I can’t wait to see where I end up.

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p.s. I can’t be the only one who has felt this way. How did you deal?

You Do What You Want When You POPPIN’

Lately it’s been hitting me that I’m 20 years old and I’m technically old enough to do what I want, when I want, where I want, and with who I want. Coming from a strict Haitian household, that’s a pretty major revelation. I have literally just realized that I’m a grown up now.

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I didn’t grow up with a lot of freedom. I was the youngest of 3 and the only girl so my mom kept a more than watchful eye on me so when I got to college, saying that I was happy to be out of my house would be an understatement.

So now I’m thinking, “What do i do with this kind of freedom?”

Whatever the hell I want because YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU POPPIN’.

What’s the point of this post? Well you could be like me waiting for something or someone to tell you that you’ve reached adulthood. Well, here you go. Congratulations. You’re an adult.

You can take trips without asking for permission, you can move out, you can party, you can sleep til 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

I mean you also have bills and other unpleasant adult things too but I mean..it’s totally worth it lol

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Relationships SUCK

It’s been awhile, I know. I’ve been trying to (and failing to) get my life together with school but I’m back now!

So Valentine’s Day is over and the air of lovey dovey-ness has finally passed.

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I know what you’re thinking. “But aren’t YOU in a relationship?”

Yes. Yes I am.

While my valentine’s day was pretty great, it doesn’t quite change the fact that being in a relationship sucks a good 60% of the time. So if you spent V-Day without anyone special, it’s okay. Bae’s aren’t all their cracked up to be.

So before you, in the spirit of single awareness season, try to find the nearest soul to cuddle up to, here are 5 tips on how NOT to be a sappy single.

  1. Learn how to be happy by yourself or else you’ll find yourself looking for happiness in someone else. Some argue that it’s not all that bad to find your happiness in someone else but what are you going to do if that person leaves? Does your happiness leave with him/her?
  2. Don’t get caught up in “cuffing season” lest you find yourself with someone you have NO business being with either. No one wants to waste their time and that’s exactly what you would be doing dating someone you only kind of like.
  3. Put down your phone. You don’t miss your ex, you’re just lonely/bored/in the mood.
  4. Relax. Not everyone who’s nice to you likes you like “that”. (no shade lol)
  5. Go out and have fun. You really don’t want these relationship problems.

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Don’t Fall In Love With Potential 

I’m a Twitter-holic so obviously I’m probably on Twitter if I’m not asleep. The other day, one of the people I follow said something that stuck out to me. “Don’t fall in love with potential.” 

Whoa.

That one statement resonated in me in a way that was quite frankly, uncomfortable.

I realize I have a habit of not falling for the guy, but what I believe the guy can be.

Maybe as a woman,  I tend to want to fix things and as a result, I find myself attracted to men who are broken and looking for direction. Because of this attraction, more times than not, I’m left broken as well.

It’s like picking up a broken vase and cutting yourself on the pieces. It hurts like hell.

Some things aren’t yours to fix and to be frank you can’t really “fix” anyone. 

As a woman, It seems only logical to desire to be with a man; and yet, for many years of my life I found myself with boys, holding on to the idea that one day they’d grow up and live up to the potential I saw in them. It shouldn’t have come to a surprise that they didn’t.

So if this is an issue you face, stop.

You obviously know the kind of person you want to be with, pursue that kind of person. You don’t have to date someone while waiting for him/her to grow up.
 “Don’t fall in love with potential.”

Being Vegan the WRONG Way in College

So I’ve been back in school for almost two weeks now and while I thought starting off the school year in my dorm as a vegan couldn’t possibly be as hard as it sounded, I was so soooo wrong. As much research as I did, I realized I still had no idea how to really be vegan while in school. I went to Aldi’s grocery store and then Earth Fare and picked up some food feeling super confident. Got back to my room and realized I had a whole bunch of nothing. Seriously. WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY! I am a broke college student. I quite literally cannot afford to waste any money. So here are some things I learned the hard way about being vegan in a college dorm.

  1. Get yourself a fridge. Some people say you don’t really need one. I beg to differ because not having on is killing me. I would like to store my fruit and spinach and freeze my potatoes. Obviously I can’t do that so obviously I don’t buy them which OBVIOUSLY affects my diet.
  2. It’s okay if you don’t cut out every animal product cold turkey. i thought I coould because I honestly believed I had no taste for the stuff whatsoever. I WAS WRONG. Giving up meat was the easy part. Yet, realizing how much of my favorite foods had animal products was pretty depressing. I LOVE CHEESE. Like…I love it. It’s in all my favorite foods like pizza and my burgers. I also love yogurts and ice cream so saying goodbye to those when I don’t have a kitchen to cook any food is difficult to say the least.
  3. Make a list of what you’re buying before you get to the store. If you shop blindly like I did sometimes, you’ll buy a whole lot of nothing. I had popcorn, chips, salsa, and LOTS of bread, realizing I had a whole bunch of carbs and not much of anything else.
  4. Just go to the cafe man. I tried to avoid my school’s cafe because quite frankly, the food isn’t always a hit but it does have a vegan line and it also has a pretty good salad bar.
  5. Find an accountability partner. Literally all of my  friends here love meat so they’re not gonna check me. I don’t know any other vegans where I am. It’s always cool to find someone you can exchange ideas and recipes with.

That’s all I got so far. If you’re vegan and have some tips for me, that’d be cool because as you can see, I. AM. STRUGGLING.

Back to School

So I’m back in school and if you’re anything like me, you have to organize your entire life before you can proceed. I like to plan. I may not always be good at keeping up with said plan, but I more so enjoy the process of it. Anyway, if you’re in school but struggling to stay organized and motivated, I have some tips that have helped me get my life together academically.

1. Plan out your week. I have a dry erase calendar where I write down all the things that I have to be done that week, whether it be assignments, projects, meetings, chores.

2. Don’t study in your room. It’s not ideal. Your room needs to be a place to sleep. I don’t care if you have a desk in your room, go somewhere else man.  Somewhere you can focus.

3. Reward yourself when you study. After every hour or so, treat yourself to 10-15 minutes of chill time. I personally can’t stare at a textbook longer than an hour without wanting to cry.

4. Apps are life. I love apps. They keep my organized. iStudiez is a great one I use so I never forget an assignment. 

5. Get an accountability partner. Set goals and find someone who you can be accountable for and can be accountable for you. It’s good to have someone to give you a nudge when you’re not feeling up to doing your work.

7. Find your studying style. Some people read and just remember, some like making flash cards, some take pages and pages of notes, some (like me)?do all three. Whatever works for you!

6. Relax. Go out. Have fun. You can’t study ALL the time. Trust me. I’ve tried it and it resulted in panic attacks and episodes of depression. Your mental health is just as if not more important as academics. If you’re killing yourself for a grade, you’re not doing it right. Study smart, not hard.

Those are my tips. Took me awhile to use them effectively to be honest but since I started to, my grades have improved and I don’t feel so overwhelmed!

Give em a try!