Clearly I’m terrible at this blogging thing because it’s probably been over two months since my last post but I promise I have a good excuse.
This semester was, for lack of a better word, trash.
I was in the hospital twice due to chronic migraines, I lost a lot of weight, my grades were slipping, I was always unhappy, and honestly the whole life thing was just getting to be too much for me. I reached a point where I honestly considered dropping out (of school).
It wasn’t until maybe a few days ago that I decided that this couldn’t happen again. I couldn’t do another year at school feeling the way i felt. It was unhealthy and I felt on the verge of a breakdown every time I woke up to go to class.
So I decided that from now on, I had to actively take care of myself. I’ve always been preoccupied with how my parents and people back home saw me. The pressure to succeed exceedingly has been a burden I’ve carried all my life and I feel like it’s something others struggle with as well.
It is however up to you to decide whose happiness is more important to you, yours or theirs.
Do what you have to do to make sure you come out of school with a sound mind and joy in your heart. You have to live with your decisions.
For me, I know I have to go back to the things that made me happy. Anyone who knows me knows I’m more artsy than scientific and yet I let go of my creative side to focus on my school work because I thought I couldn’t have both.
I can’t really give any advice on the subject. It’s a journey I’ve just started; the journey of self discovery. The Pursuit of Happiness.
I’ve decided to use my upcoming summer break to tap back into the creative powers that I snuffed out so long ago. It’s a start and I can’t wait to see where I end up.
p.s. I can’t be the only one who has felt this way. How did you deal?